Three women talk about living with "invisible" symptoms.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), six in ten adults have a chronic disease and four in ten struggle with two or more chronic diseases. However, not everyone who suffers appears to be ill. For example, people with fibromyalgia, arthritis, and multiple sclerosis (MS) do not necessarily exhibit outwardly visible symptoms. For this reason, these chronic diseases and others that do not have outward signs are referred to as "invisible" diseases.
According to the Invisible Disorders Association (open in new tab), invisible diseases are not always well understood by loved ones and are often not taken as seriously or downplayed as visible diseases. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), patients struggle to "prove" their illness to others, and this lack of understanding can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and anger (opens in new tab).
To help spread awareness of the invisible disease and help sufferers feel less alone, we asked three women to share their stories. Read on to find out how their symptoms have affected their emotional and spiritual wellbeing and what has helped them cope.
Capistrano Beach, California
In 2008, Kimmy Delahanty (opens in new tab) was diagnosed with Addison's disease (opens in new tab), an adrenal disorder that prevents the body from producing enough of the hormones cortisol and aldosterone. Six years later, she was found to have lupus (opens in new tab), an autoimmune disease that attacks the immune system and causes inflammation and pain in the skin, joints, and organs.
As a young professional working as a virtual assistant and social media manager, living with two invisible diseases affected not only her career but also her physical and mental health. For days to weeks, she says, she would feel "out of it." Says Delahanty, "Sometimes I'll be confined to my house or in bed for days at a time, and I can be incredibly isolated." I often appear "fine," but as someone who has lived with pain for many years, I have learned to hide it well. I have become a master at pushing through the pain and putting on a brave face."
Delahanty says one of the most frustrating aspects of living with an invisible illness is receiving unsolicited health advice. She says, "Often you get recommendations from complete strangers for different treatments, vitamins, or diets. It is very frustrating to have people with little knowledge about your illness downplay the complexity of living with it, saying that the answer is simple or that someone is choosing to live with their illness by not 'curing' themselves," she says.
Delahanty has found that opening up about her invisible struggle with her illness helps her feel more understood by others, and she encourages others who are going through similar experiences to do the same. She says, "I encourage friends and family to ask me questions so they can better understand what it's like to live everyday life with an illness." 'I've also started writing about living with a chronic illness and sharing more on social media. I feel empowered to take ownership of it and help those around me understand me better."
Hackettstown, NJ
Since 2009, Ashley Chikara Feiler (opens in new tab) has lived with multiple sclerosis (opens in new tab) (MS), an autoimmune disease that attacks the nervous system and causes permanent nerve deterioration As an up-and-coming 22-year-old dancer, receiving this diagnosis was incredibly painful and ultimately forced her to leave training after three years. Says Feiler, "Other people didn't understand when they saw me working out, taking classes, and walking normally." 'But they couldn't feel that I was coping physically or see me crash in a closed room.'
But MS did not stop Feiler from getting involved in the dance. She now co-owns and co-directs the North Jersey School of Dance Arts (open in new tab). Says she, "Living with an invisible disease is tough, but I don't want it to stop me from living my life."
Feiler receives an infusion every six months to slow the physical progression of her disease, but mental health care is something she works on every day, and it is not always easy. 'It's impossible not to feel bouts of anxiety or depression, especially when you're dealing with a chronic illness,' she says. It's a constant reminder."
One way she prioritizes her mental health is to be more honest with her loved ones about her feelings. 'For years I internalized my feelings. I wanted to be seen as this super powerful, super emotional person," says Feiler. 'But I couldn't be honest about what I was dealing with on a daily basis. No one knew how much I was suffering.
Negative emotions exacerbate Feiler's symptoms, so she tries to look for the silver lining in any negative situation. She says, "I like to focus on the things I can control, the positive things in my life." List the things you are grateful for, spend time with people you love, ...... Do whatever you can to put the positive aspects of your life first."
Covington, Louisiana
Roxie Stewart (open in new tab) began having body cramps after the birth of her second child. After undergoing numerous tests, she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (open in new tab). Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune disease in which the immune system mistakenly attacks its own tissues, including joints, skin, eyes, lungs, heart, and blood vessels. She was also diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis (open in new tab), an autoimmune disease involving chronic inflammation of the thyroid gland.
For years after her diagnosis, Stewart felt ashamed of her illness and misunderstood. 'People, including my family and friends, couldn't understand how I could be sick when I looked so healthy,' she says. 'Many people didn't take my story seriously. Eventually, I got tired of trying to explain my illness and how I felt."
This experience had a negative impact on her mental health. 'For a long time I felt very alone and suffered from severe depression and anxiety. I also felt guilty about being inactive, not functioning well, and always wanting to sleep because of my illness," says Stewart. After spending a decade with both conditions, she began to think about what she could do to heal her mind and spirit.
"I began to practice self-love and compassion for myself. I made extreme changes to my diet and also began meditation, yoga, and visualization and emotional release work," she says. Her passion for healing led her to become a health coach, and she found fulfillment in helping people through physically and emotionally challenging times.
Remember that others may not understand the pain and struggle that someone with an invisible illness is experiencing. Says Stewart, "It can feel embarrassing to keep explaining to people what you're suffering from, but I've learned how valuable it is." 'By raising awareness and standing together, we can make a huge difference for our future.'
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