I finished some work and looked at the clock on my laptop, it was 2:59 PM. I thought of Bridget sitting across from me in the office. The walk to the coffee shop was partly to regain my vitality, but mainly to catch up on office gossip and talk about life. As I set my lukewarm coffee on my parents' dining room table, I pulled up my G-chat history with Bridget and realized I hadn't spoken to her in three weeks. three weeks. Like many former office employees, my professional friend seemed to have disappeared.

Whether you blame the big resignation (opens in new tab) (how dare she leave me behind) or the isolation of working from home (I'm still very blessed), the friendships between colleagues, and frankly, friendships in general (opens in new tab), have not changed since March 2020. In the early days when everyone thought it would all be over soon, the weekly Zoom happy hour gave hope that the team could recreate the feeling of being together in the office."

Instead, we increasingly turned off the cameras and muted ourselves. Interrupting the seemingly endless to-do list to talk about what we did over the weekend or what we think of Olivia Rodrigo's album is, frankly, exhausting. It's also causing me to have a bad relationship with my coworkers. At least it's evolving.

There is no doubt that technology has given us more opportunities than ever to stay connected, and some say they have become closer to their colleagues (open in new tab) as a result of the pandemic. Can we replace the venting in the bathroom after a bad presentation or the private room visit to laugh at a funny meme together?" as companies postpone return-to-work dates (opens in new tab), employees relocate to take advantage of the flexibility of remote work (opens in new tab), and As they continue to do so, the prospects of directly building relationships, the foundation of human nature, are slim.

According to a Marie Claire x LinkedIn survey, during the pandemic, nearly a quarter of women and nonbinary respondents moved to a new city or state and worked remotely there. In addition to the loss of direct connections with coworkers, these transplants may also have trouble making friends who live in their new zip codes.

Ariel S., a 26-year-old sales and marketing executive, recently relocated from Florida to North Carolina. She transitioned from a hybrid model to remote full-time while staying with the same company. As she tries to make new friends, she notes that it was hard not having her work friends around as a cushion until she found "her people." However, her professional friendships had evolved before she moved.

"I had to start thinking, 'Do I really care about this person?'" she says. Rather than having a direct conversation that emphasized that I cared about what was going on [in that person's life], I would say, 'Oh, by the way, how was your weekend?'

There are ways to make real connections, even through a screen. Kristen Parisi, 36, who is disabled, has had to build virtual relationships (open in new tab) throughout her career; a wheelchair user since the age of 5, Parisi struggled to connect with colleagues when she was the only one working part time and remotely. (This was because traffic was bad and the daily commute was difficult.) In 2014, Slack was not widespread and there were no video calls. No one was using Messenger either. She can relate to the isolation many people feel today - the inability to "hit it off" virtually with colleagues, especially with the added fatigue and burnout (open in new tab) from the pandemic. Still, Parisi does her best to make those connections while she and her team work remotely.

"One day, I have a colleague who contacted me on Slack." In our Zoom calls, you're always wearing nice clothes and I'm wearing a crappy T-shirt. Parisi recalls. "It started there and quickly developed into a friendship with someone I'd never met. Most of our friendships are on Slack."

Studies have shown that building friendships with colleagues has a positive impact on work performance (open in new tab) and overall work happiness (open in new tab). At the very least, it is important to try to form relationships with colleagues beyond the day-to-day work. But will friendships like the ones we once had never return? Now that we don't have the option of spontaneously running into each other in the hallway or having drinks at the corner bar after work, it takes more effort than ever to develop and maintain professional friendships. As we adapt to the hybrid world (open in new tab), it is up to each of us to decide how much we put into our friendships and how much we ultimately value them.

As I was about to finish my work for the day, I checked the time on my computer again. It was 6:20 PM. Before closing my laptop, I pinged her to let her know that I wanted to see her. As I wait for her reply (while typing), I recall the night we lingered by my desk, chatting as my co-workers quickly left the office to avoid the commuter rush. The bustling office fades away to the sound of our voices echoing through the near-empty hallway. In the familiar quiet, this time as one party, I understood that our professional friendships would probably never be the same. Evolution gives us room to rebuild, and we are all just doing the best we can together right now.