#ReadWithMC-Welcome to Marie Claire's virtual book club. It's a pleasure to meet you, and for the month of April we will be reading "The Almost True Story of Tanner and Louise" by Colleen Oakley. The book is an absolute blast about how an underrated old woman and a 21-year-old college dropout became the most unlikely of roommates and eventually partners in crime. Read an excerpt from the book below and find out how you can participate. (1]

I woke up for the first time at Mrs. Wilt's house at 7 a.m. on a Monday morning because I counted the chimes on my grandfather's clock the same way I'd been woken up at 4, 5, and 6. She had no idea how she had managed to sleep through the chimes between midnight and 3 a.m., nor did she realize the shocking volume of the sound during daylight hours. She could never understand how her neighbors, much less Mrs. Wilt, had slept.

She grabbed the pillow next to her head, pressed it against her face, and screamed into it. It was the only way she could think of, other than sticking a hammer into the clock and hitting it over and over until it turned into a toothpick.

Tanner usually sleeps at home until at least 10:00, preferably 11:00 or 12:00. Aside from the ticking clock, the bed was hard and lumpy and very uncomfortable. And that was coming from someone who was used to sleeping on a pull-out couch. Tanner sat up and rubbed her bloodshot eyes. She wanted a new mattress. And earplugs. And she didn't want to live in this musty old house with a musty old woman.

But none of that was going to be easy, so she needed coffee. And a lot of it. She briefly considered ordering Starbucks from UberEats, but quickly dismissed it, considering the fees and tips would soon make the coffee expensive. And she was already down $20 in pizza money from the $200 her mother had given her to hold her over until her first payday. She searched the kitchen cabinets and could only hope that Louise wouldn't mind.

Tanner tossed the blanket aside and stood up, groaning at the pain in her legs. Mornings were always the worst, especially since she had stopped doing the strengthening band exercises recommended by Dr. Stevens (what was the point?). She tiptoed down the hallway so as not to disturb Mrs. Wilt. Not out of kindness, but because it was awkward to be in a stranger's house and even more awkward to be in the same room. While I was grateful for the opportunity to immerse myself in video games, I would have much preferred the privacy of my own home. I walked through the large room that served as study, living room, and dining room and into the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eye, her heart nearly stopped when she saw someone sitting at the table, bringing a piece of toast to her mouth.

Mrs. Wilt.

"Oh." Tanner said, putting her hand on her chest. 'I didn't think you were still awake. Not only was she awake, but she was wearing a cardigan (lavender today), tan pants, orthopedic shoes, perfectly coiffed hair, and ...... Tanner took a closer look. Pink lipstick. Who put lipstick on before eating breakfast?

"At 7:15." Mrs. Wilt said in that sharp, cutting way that clearly meant that 7:15 was absolute midday and Tanner was a lazy person who slept that late. But Tanner was so distracted by the smell of coffee that she didn't pay attention. [She looked at the pot. 'Can I get some more today?' She stammered, but she was desperate.

Mrs. Wilt nodded and placed the half-eaten toast on a plate. 'The mugs are on the top shelf. I made extra just in case."

"Oh," Tanner said. 'Thanks. "Tanner poured coffee into her cup, added the required amount of milk and sugar (a boatload), and leaned against the counter to take the first sip. The coffee warmed her, and just as Tanner was filled with gratitude and felt that her judgment of Mrs. Wilt might have been a bit hasty, she felt a look. She glanced back at the woman.

"Well, I guess I'd better get back..." Tanner paused. She wasn't sure if she should call it her room or the guest room. Neither seemed accurate.

Mrs. Wilt nodded and returned her gaze to the newspaper. 'You need to leave at nine o'clock to be on time for your hair appointment. I don't want to be late."

The first three days passed exactly like groundhog days. As promised, Tanner drove the woman to her promised destination on the calendar at Mrs. Wilt's 15-year-old Mercury Grand Marquis. (Tanner almost laughed when he saw it in the garage. Of course, this was the car she had to drive. It was a typical old lady's boat. God forbid Mrs. Wilt should have anything fun.)

When she returned home in the afternoon, Tanner took a slice of pizza out of the refrigerator, sat on the couch and played "Horizon Zero Dawn" until Louise's cocktail hour; at 5:00, she turned on the local news for an hour; from 6:00 to 7:00, she ate dinner in the kitchen Then she would return to the den to watch legal or crime dramas. Tanner had a hard time saying which was more irritating: the volume of the television or the nearly incessant ringing of the telephone. Tanner sometimes answered the landline. He could answer the phone faster than Mrs. Wilt, because he could stop the obnoxious ringing. (He sounded like a robot explaining in accented English that he was transferring a credit card balance at zero percent, or that Louise's Social Security benefits had been suspended, or that she had once won a free cruise.) At 9:00, the old woman strode to her room and probably went to bed.

In other words, life with Mrs. Wilt was as predictable as the grandfather clock Tanner wanted to knock down.

Until it wasn't.

From THE MOSTLY TRUE STORY OF TANNER & LOUISE by Colleen Oakley. Copyright © 2023 Colleen Oakley.