Here's why "No Complaints, No Explanations" was key to the Queen's reign

Queen Elizabeth has many charms, perhaps the foremost of which is her stoicism, despite dozens of dramas in between, from Prince Charles and Princess Diana's affair in the 1980s and 1990s to the recent affair between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Despite this, the informal royal motto of "no complaining, no explaining" is a tenet of the royal family.

"The fact that there was little personal drama was arguably the secret to Elizabeth II's success," Tracy Bowman, author of Crown & Sceptre: A New History of the British Monarchy (opens in new tab) In an interview with PEOPLE, Bowman said.

The adage, "Never complain, never explain," is believed to have originated with 19th century British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and was adopted by the Queen's late mother, the Queen Mother. Royalty, like the Sussexes, have complained and explained very publicly on a special program with Oprah Winfrey in March 2021, in total defiance of the Queen's tight-lipped approach to public appearances.

"According to Proverbs, 'the heart of the king cannot be known,'" Bowman said.

"This was especially true of Elizabeth II, who, throughout her long reign, kept her cards close to her chest.

The queen's poker face and restraint are remarkable, especially in the age of oversharing we live in today.

"It is no small irony that in this age of mass communication, fewer of the Queen's personal opinions and feelings are recorded than those of her predecessors," says Bowman. 'We know that the Queen likes horse racing and corgis, that she spends summers at Balmoral and Christmases at Sandringham. But almost every word she utters is by someone else."

"Marie Claire" magazine has reported in recent months that "never complain, never explain" may soon be a relic of the past as Prince Charles and especially Prince William have loosened this mantra in their own way - especially after the controversial Cambridge in the aftermath of the Duke and Duchess' Caribbean tour.

But for the Queen's historic 70-year reign, the motto remains a guiding principle, no matter the circumstances of the rest of the royal family, says PEOPLE.

"That stoicism is really in contrast to people like Harry and Meghan," Pauline McLellan, a professor at Royal Holloway University of London, tells PEOPLE. "That's one of the reasons she's so admired: it's incredible that a 96-year-old, who we know is in great pain a lot of the time, is still going out and staying engaged. She is still smiling, still putting on her outfit, still coming out to reassure everyone. It's really wonderful. She really takes the 'never complain' motto to the extreme. Royalist or not, you have to admire her."

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The queen may not always express her views verbally to the public, but PEOPLE reports that "that doesn't mean she doesn't assert them when she wants to."

In March, when she met with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at Windsor Castle, she was greeted by a blue and yellow flower display and stood by it to express solidarity with the Ukrainian people.

Also, when opening Parliament in 2017, His Majesty wore a blue hat decorated with yellow flowers." The magazine noted that she "mimicked the flag of the European Union and sent a message of support for the European Union in the wake of Britain's decision to leave the bloc.

"You never hear her being extremely happy or extremely upset," McLellan said. 'She tries not to give too much of herself away. That has been a very good strategy in that people can read what she likes from her behavior and can relate to her."